I Love You

I Love You is an old fashioned sentimental Hollywood romantic comedy. It's like a good trashy summer beach book, decent enough to engage until the end, but as cheesy as it is charming.

This sweet little film will make you laugh and cry, but once it's over you'll feel a bit of a fool. Unashamedly a chick flick, PS: I Love You is based on the novel by Irish author Cecelia Ahern. Director Richard LaGravenese has shifted the story from Ireland to the United States, making the lead Holly Kennedy, played by Hilary Swank, American, but retains husband Gerry (Gerard Butler) as Irish.

Holly deals with the death of her husband of 10 years by holing up in her apartment watching old movies, ignoring her friends Denise (Kudrow) and Sharon (Gershon), her mother Patricia (Kathy Bates) and her sister Rose (Nellie McKay).

On her 30th birthday, she receives a posthumous package that contains a recorded message from her dead husband, telling her to get out and celebrate her birthday. This is the first of 10 letters Gerry prepared for Holly to help her get on with her life and find herself.

Love, sweet love

2/14/2008 - It’s Valentine’s Day! Cheers to all you lovebirds out there. Well, this is a much better Valentine’s Day for me than last year, when I accidentally scratched my eyeball while taking my contacts out, had to go to the Emergency Room, spent the rest of the day on my couch wearing an eye patch and wasn’t able to wear my contacts again until St. Patrick’s Day. If you’re having a rotten Valentine’s Day, just remember, at least you’re not spending it wearing an eye patch; and if you are, I feel your pain.

Even though I have someone special to spend it with this year, I don’t really care all that much about it. Valentine’s Day has the tremendous ability to make you feel like a loser, whether you’re in a relationship or flying solo. If you don’t plan ahead, you may end up stopping at Rite Aid today to buy a heart-shaped box of chocolates and a stuffed bear holding a heart for your sweetheart, and then waiting at a restaurant for hours because you forgot to make reservations. What about those relationships where you’re only sort-of a couple? Giving a gift could make you seem clingy, but blowing it off might end things completely.

The greeting card industry lays the biggest guilt trip, of course, on singles. If you’re single today, it’s easy to get caught up in the idea that “If you don’t have a ‘valentine,’ you’re a loser,” and you’ll end up sulking around like Charlie Brown wondering why yet another holiday exists only to emphasize the fact that nobody likes you. I just read that after the Peanuts special “Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown” aired in 1975, kids all over America sent valentines to Charlie out of sympathy. So just remember: you’ll never be a bigger loser than Charlie Brown. That is the moral of this story.



VALENTINE’S DAY FESTIVITIES

n Tonight at Scharmann Theatre in Jamestown, the performance piece “Presentation of Love Letters,” sounds so sweet I just had to mention it. Starring Robert Schlick and Michelle Buhite, the pair read letters exchanged over a lifetime between the two people who grew up together and went their separate ways. The performance starts at 8 p.m. and tickets are $7, general admisson; $6 for seniors and area students; and $5 for JCC FSA members. For more information, call 338-1187.

n If you think Valentine’s Day sucks, celebrate it. The fifth annual “Kiss My A— Bash,” the anti-Valentine’s Day party, will be held at a new venue this year, the Clarion Hotel. The party is from 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. for everyone 21 and up (singles and couples, too) and the $7 cover charge includes food, giveaways, drink specials, music by DJ Stray Kat and fun, of course. There’s a special room rate, $59.99 (plus tax), and you’ll get some complimentary champagne as well. Call 366-8350 to make a reservation.



WHAT’S HAPPENING THIS WEEKEND

A better question: what wasn’t scheduled for this weekend? You may find yourself double- and triple-booked — kind of like they always do on TV with dates, where they have two dates scheduled for the same night, at the same time, in the same restaurant.

n There are so many things happening in Mayville. The annual Mayville I.C.E. Festival is this weekend, held Saturday and Sunday at Lakeside Park (Route 394), with every kind of winter fun imaginable. Fireworks are at 8 p.m. on Saturday. See www.mayville-chautauquachamber.org for the complete schedule of events, or call 753-3113 for more info. Will there be an ice castle this year? It’s certainly been cold enough lately, but I guess we’ll have to wait and see…

Also in Mayville, all on Saturday: the “Icing on the Cake and Reuben Fest” is at Celebration Hall in the old Mayville School from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. The “Snow Ball” will be held at Chautauqua Suites from 9 p.m. to midnight. The Lakeview Hotel will have some New Orleans jazz with music by Larry Dixon from 8 p.m. to midnight. The hotel will also have a beer tasting from noon to 8 p.m. Saturday.

n Evangola State Park’s Winter Fest is Saturday and Sunday from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. at the park, with hayrides, contests and snowmobile rides. Food by Desperados Barbecue and Catering Company will be served in the Warm Up Room from 1 to 5 p.m. each day. For more info on the festival, visit www.evangolastatepark.com or call 549-1802.

n The Taste of Arts Weekend will be at the Clarion Marina and Conference Center in Dunkirk on Saturday and Sunday, with workshops by the county’s best artists and crafters, and a wine and beer tasting by Merritt Estate Winery and Ellicottville Brewing Company. If you’re interested in the workshops, register by calling 366-8350, stop by in person, or fax 366-8899. Find registration forms at www.clariondunkirk.com.

n The St. Elizabeth Ann Seton annual Ethnic Foods Festival is from 4 to 7 p.m. Saturday at the parish hall (corner of Fourth and Washington in Dunkirk). Sample Polish, German, Italian, Spanish and American dishes. Admission is $7.50 for adults and $5 for children.

n The 1891 Fredonia Opera House will be showing the Oscar-nominated movie “Atonement” at 8 p.m. on Saturday as part of their Cinema Series. If you’re already overbooked this weekend, it will be shown again Tuesday, Feb. 19, at 7:30 p.m. Tickets are available at the door for $7 (adults), $6.50 (seniors & Opera House members) and $5 (students & children) the night of each showing.


WHAT REALLY GRINDS MY GEARS

It seems like everyone around me is sick, and while I feel glad that I’m the only one who’s still well, it is inevitable that I too will fall victim to the cold that’s going around. As I listen to everyone sniffle and look generally miserable, it got me thinking about the three worst things about having a cold:

It seems to go on forever. I’ve had colds that have left me feeling miserable for nearly a month.

The inability to breathe out my nose makes it impossible for me to sleep, which in turn makes it extremely difficult to get well again. Thank goodness for Zicam, but you can only use it twice a day.

The common cold doesn’t have any street cred. Some underestimate a cold’s ability to completely rob you of your will to exist. I just think that the cold should get credit where credit is due. Sure, it’s not exactly typhoid fever or the plague, but it can leave you feeling almost as awful.



LOVE, SWEET LOVE

In honor of Valentine’s Day — five of the most romantic movies of all time, according to me:

“Gone With the Wind” — It doesn’t get anymore romantic than Rhett and Scarlett. Southern belles and gentlemen know romance better than anyone else.

“Casablanca” — Here’s looking at you, kid. Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman make one heck of a pair of star-crossed lovers.

“The Princess Bride” — A fairy-tale romance and comedy that definitely stands the test of time.

“When Harry Met Sally” — If you can get past the bad hair and the fact that Meg Ryan was way too good-looking for Billy Crystal.

“Titanic” — Everyone cried during this movie at least once in 1997. Love on a giant, sinking ship is the most tragic kind.

Romance is dead; we?re stuck with the Donald

Reality television shifted gears this week, away from dancing and wooing to barking and badgering. ABC?s reality shows Dancing With the Stars and The Bachelor: Paris wrapped up last week. The Apprentice started (again) Mondays on NBC.
I?d take Travis and Drew over the Donald and his kids any week.

I particularly enjoyed early dancing loser (and ESPN personality) Kenny Mayne, who was outraged that Stacy Keibler finished only third. That has to be the first time that a sports reporter has defended pro wrestling.

I?m glad Jerry Rice didn?t embarrass himself, but I hope he knows his obituary will read: ??Hall of Fame wide receiver and Dancing With the Stars runner-up Jerry Rice . . ."

As for Drew Lachey, congratulations: You?re officially a C-list celebrity.

And on the subject of Harry Hamlin (that?s a fun phrase to write), I hope he decides to follow literally in the footsteps of his wife, Lisa Rinna, and compete on Dancing.

For those who missed out last year when Hamlin and Rinna appeared on one of the best TV dramas, Veronica Mars, hie thee to a video store and purchase season one posthaste. A marvelous display of big-lipped acting.


? The group of desperate housewives in New Albany with whom I watched the final Bachelor all agreed that Nashville, Tenn., kindergarten teacher Sarah was the one for absurdly hunky Travis.

While it?s really great that runner-up Moana had never felt that way about ??another human being," she was apparently unaware of the cosmic law that says ER doctors and kindergarten teachers score an ??Aw" to the ninth power on the Cuteness Scale.

Of course, they?ve probably broken up by now, but at least they?ll always have tapes of themselves making out in Paris.


? If you?ve wandered away from The West Wing, I recommend returning before the fine NBC drama wraps up its final season. This Sunday?s episode includes some tantalizing progress on a long-standing story line along with upsets in the candidates? campaigns.

Also, at the critics? tour in January, executive producer John Wells said the series was trying to negotiate with former regular Rob Lowe to return as Sam Seaborn.

??It?s sort of in his court now," Wells said.

NBC announced recently that Lowe and seven other semiregulars will return during the last five episodes.

Rob made the right choice. I don?t think ??Hi, I was in The Lyon?s Den" is going to get him into many cocktail parties.

Trying to set a fire under online dating

Feb. 14--As Valentine's Day arrives, the online dating business is in the midst of an extreme makeover.

Internet dating was once scorned as the last resort of nerds and losers. No more: about 16 percent of all US Internet users -- or roughly 33 million people -- visited a dating site in 2006, according to JupiterResearch, and Americans spent $650 million last year on digital hookups.

But only about 5 percent of US Internet users purchase paid subscriptions to online dating services, and that percentage has hardly budged for several years, forcing industry leaders and tiny start-ups alike to try new gimmicks to coax more revenue out of existing customers and attract new ones.

EHarmony.com of Pasadena, Calif., is fighting back with science. Founded by psychologist and marriage counselor Neil Clark Warren, the company is best known for its high prices -- $60 a month -- and its questionnaire. Members must...

Seniors get back in the dating game; As people live longer, the elderly look for romance -- and find a changed scene.

seniors are finding an increasing number of ways to meet new sweethearts. Online dating services can be a secure and nonthreatening way for seniors to meet, said Kristin Kelly, a spokeswoman for Match.com, a popular dating site. The number of baby boomers using the website has jumped 350% since 2000, she said. One of the site's most popular users is a 78-year-old retired physician, and some members are in their 90s, she said.

BACK IN THE GAME: Lynn Warner, 61, center left, asks another woman if she found anyone she liked at the speed-dating event. Women outnumber men at the affair, so some women had to chat with other women.; PHOTOGRAPHER: Chiaki Kawajiri Baltimore Sun; TALKING FAST: Georgia [Peacock], 74, and [Clewell Howell], 76, chat at a speed-dating event at Baltimore County's Senior Expo. After three minutes, they move on to another partner.; PHOTOGRAPHER: Chiaki Kawajiri Baltimore Sun

Fewer People Subscribe To Online Dating Services

Only one-third of Internet users who went to dating sites in the last year became paying subscribers, but one company hopes to beat those odds with technology that allows customers to keep their dating activities a secret.
A research company has bad news for people looking for love through online dating services this Valentine's Day, but the news is good for those who want to keep their dating activities secret.
JupiterResearch has found that fewer people are subscribing to online dating services, but Private Date Finders is bucking that trend with proprietary technology.

Industry revenues continue to climb because of higher monthly fees, but only 5 percent of Internet users paid for online dating subscriptions in the last year, down from 6 percent the previous year, according to a report that JupiterResearch released last week.

"Only one-third of Internet users who went to dating sites in the last year became paying subscribers," said JupiterResearch Analyst Nate Elliott, who authored the report. "Thirty-seven percent of visitors who don't convert say dating sites cost too much, making it their leading complaint."

Social networks don't appear to be a significant threat. Only 14 percent of people who don't pay for subscriptions said they use free sites, like social networks, instead, according "Online Dating in 2006: Pricing Strategies to Drive Subscriber Growth."

Elliott said that dating sites can use targeted discounting strategies to improve their conversion rates.

Private Date Finders takes a different approach.

"Our business is almost completely different from the others," CEO Jerry Klein said during an interview Monday. "Our service is outperforming because we're coming out of the traditional online dating sandbox."

Klein said that his site responds to needs identified from other research showing that 35 percent of people using dating sites are married or in a relationship. Many of those people were reluctant to pay for subscriptions because they feared being caught – either because they were in a relationship or because they browse on work time.

The site uses a free proprietary service called EverPrivate (patent pending). A Web-based anonymous browser and a Web-based eraser promise to erase all traces of user activity, including: cookies, cache, history, temporary Internet files and transactions without installation or downloads. The site also provides private log-ins and a "virtual" MasterCard, a Debit card issued online and replenished at retail stores. Private Date Finders boasts a conversion rate close to 10 percent and claims to operate the only dating site where visitors can find partners without anyone else knowing. As for the ethics, Klein said: "The truth is we're not going to create behavior patterns. Somebody is going to either be good or bad. We're just filling a void."

Online dating helps fight Aids stigma

Jeanette is seeking the ideal man. Someone sensitive. Funny. Sexy. And, most of all, HIV-positive.

That's why she turned to The Positive Connection, an online dating agency that offers HIV-positive South Africans looking for love a way to get around the stigma of the disease.

"Everything goes well until a guy learns about my problem and dumps me," said Jeanette, who asked that her real name not be used.

"I just want to meet someone like me who can talk about it."

Aids is still a taboo subject for millions of South Africans, despite its staggering toll: each day, about 1 000 people die of Aids and related conditions.

Few people openly admit they have the disease - fearful of losing partners, friends and jobs - and this environment of shame has undermined the battle against the disease.

Ben Sassman, founder of The Positive Connection, says he offers HIV sufferers who fear the normal dating scene will only lead to more rejection a unique channel to build up their confidence, and maybe meet the right partner one day.

"We don't want people to cry on our shoulders and feel sorry for themselves. They must realise that managing the problem is possible. There are ordinary people like you and me," he said.

The fight against Aids is a daunting task in South Africa. Aids activists accuse the government of dragging its feet, leaving more and more people vulnerable to Aids/HIV, the virus which causes it.

South African officials, including President Thabo Mbeki, have infuriated Aids activists by questioning accepted Aids science, pushing unproven treatments and failing to make anti-retroviral (ARV) drugs, now accepted as the frontline treatment for HIV/Aids, readily available to all those in need.

Doctor beetroot

Health Minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang, has been dubbed "Dr Beetroot" for her promotion of beetroot, garlic and other foods as a treatment of HIV/Aids.

"How can you fight a devastating problem when the leadership of the country has these crazy ideas?," asked Sassman.

It's a tough fight against a culture of denial.

Some infected husbands and wives hide the problem from each other, increasing the chance of their children being born HIV-positive.

To try and bring down social barriers, The Positive Connection pushes the motto "Aids is not a death sentence" in a tag that runs across its website.

A question and answer section tries to end common misconceptions: "We don't need a condom for Sex." "HIV only affects gay men and drug users." "People over 50 do not get HIV."

Smooth-talking HIV-positive Clement charmed two smiling women as a jovial crowd sipped wine and soft drinks. It could have been a scene at any Johannesburg bar or nightclub.

In fact, it was a breakthrough for Sassman. Some users of his website let down their guard and agreed to meet face to face. It was the first time he had met some of them.

Most did not give their real names, but appeared comfortable. Perhaps a bit of progress in a country where an estimated 12 percent of the 47 million population are infected with HIV.

"When I found out I had Aids I just wanted to walk to the railroad track and end it all. How could I tell my family? But in the end I decided not to so I could support my child," said Yantumba, standing beside her sister-in-law, also HIV-positive.

Today she is lighthearted, although the former health-care worker saw first hand how the disease ravages people. She and her sister-in-law joked about partying and meeting guys.

South Africa's government has unveiled a new HIV/Aids plan to reduce infections and tackle anti-discrimination.

That may not happen for a long time. But it didn't stop Clement and his new friends having a good time, dancing to the rhythm as music blared. Clement dismisses ARV medications. His answer to fighting the disease is sheer willpower.

"I am going to live my life," said Clement, whose ex-partner and child are HIV-positive. "I will not give up."

Double Take: In-Laws Don't Like My New Boyfriend

Woman Afraid Late Husband's Family Will Stop Helping
Dear Double Take

I am a 29-year-old widow raising three sons -- ages 3, 4 and 8 -- on my own.

I've been in a biracial relationship for nine months now. Things are going well, and I truly believe I am in love with the man.

My late husband's family doesn't approve, and in order for me to get any kind of help raising my children -- such as baby-sitting while I go to work -- I have to lie to them and say I'm not seeing him anymore.

It's not the fact that I'm seeing a man who is not their son; I've been dating for two years, and I have been widowed for four. It's the fact that he is of a different race. It creates tremendous stress on my relationship.

He has said that if things are going to continue between us, I will have to quit spending time with my late husband's family, and they have said the same thing. I believe family is important and my kids should spend quality time with their dad's family, but they should also be taught that this is what happens in today's world. I don't want them thinking they cannot date someone they really like just because they are a different race.

What should I do?

EDDIE SAYS:

You should start looking at other options for watching your kids. It's not easy or cheap to find good care, but you need to have a fallback position.


Then, find ways to let it slip that you're dating this guy again. If they question it, tell them you know their views, but it's really not their concern.

If they force things, you can move to your backup plan. That doesn't mean cutting them off from your children, but if they say they won't help if they don't like your behavior -- assuming you are doing nice, stable things and just dating a guy they don't like -- then they will have to deal with those consequences as well.

Is it very easy for me to suggest that a single, working mom risk some of her support network? A lot easier than living it, that's for sure.

But it is your life to lead and your children's lives to manage. You know that it's up to you to take care of those things, and you get the biggest vote.

ALANA SAYS:

Family is important -- and it's great that you're making such an effort to keep your late husband's family in your children's lives.

But your happiness is also important. If the family's problem really is just the racial thing, it's wrong to succumb to their narrow-mindedness. As you said, you'd be teaching your children that judging people by their race is acceptable.

You know this already. The problem is that you're a single mom without a lot of extra cash available for child care -- I get it. But take Eddie's suggestion: Do some research into your options. Perhaps there are some community programs for child care that cater to families like yours, or maybe you have other family members or friends who can help out.

Be honest with your late husband's family, but don't stop spending time with them unless they initiate that kind of a situation. If they know what's going on and are still willing to see you and the kids, keep the relationship alive as best you can.

Disagree With Double Take? Offer Your Own Advice


Dear Double Take:

I'm a single mom, and I am having trouble with my son. He is very smart, although lacking in motivation. As a result, he is barely passing the seventh grade when he should be in the gifted program.

He has shown signs of resentment toward me, including a letter he wrote explaining why he feels I don't deserve any respect, treating me rudely at home and making fun of me with other people.

He has recently become withdrawn because I grounded him because of bad grades and is starting to get violent, slashing many holes in his bed. I suspect he did this with a missing kitchen knife, but I have not been able to locate the knife. I have taken him to counseling, have been to therapy myself and am not sure what to do at this point.

I have told him I don't appreciate his treatment of me and the fact that he doesn't respect me, despite all I do for him. We are living in a district I can't afford to be in, just to give him the benefit of a great education, yet his grades have gone from mediocre to failing.

I recently decided enough is enough. I informed him that we will be moving, and he can either go to his dad's or move with me. He flip-flops, says he doesn't care, then says he'd rather live with his dad -- a grown-up kid himself who only recently started paying child support.

To make it all worse, his dad lives in New Orleans. While my son would be attending an excellent school, I worry about crime, hurricanes, my son turning out to be like his dad, etc. My current boyfriend says it might teach him a valuable lesson, and he'll probably beg to come back.

I am unsure of what to do. I don't want to live in a home where I am afraid my son -- who is now bigger than I am -- may snap and attack me. I don't want to put my son directly in harm's way. I don't want my son to resent me for sending him away. Help!

Michael Lohan: ‘Look At Lindsay Lohan’s Naked Boobs?

With the world still carping on about Lindsay Lohan's naked photoshoot as if it'd never seen a set of blazing red pubes before, it's nice to hear the occasional voice of dissent.

And that voice of dissent happens to come from Lindsay Lohan's Dad. Michael Lohan is steadfastly refusing to look at the naked Lindsay Lohan spread out of a sense of vague disgust, you see.

Not disgust that his daughter has become nothing more than a cheap sexual commodity, though - Michael Lohan is annoyed that Lindsay Lohan's naked photoshoot has stepped on the toes of his own naked photoshoot; the forthcoming Michael Lohan Presents Anna Nicole Smith, We Hardly Knew Ye for Total Sudoku magazine.

The statistics surrounding New York magazine's naked Lindsay Lohan photoshoot this week are simply phenomenal. Demand to see what Lindsay Lohan's hooters look like was so high that the New York website crashed. The lack of self-awareness displayed when Lindsay Lohan complained about the pitfalls of the entertainment industry from the front cover of a magazine with her tits out exploded up to 12 supercomputers running complicated logic programs. And it probably turned quite a lot of young men gay, too.

Despite this, allies of the Lindsay Lohan naked photoshoot have been vociferous in their support of Lindsay Lohan's slow slide into grubby erotic thriller-based semi-obscurity. Even Lindsay Lohan's mother loves staring at her naked daughter enough to tell the world about it. As far as Dina Lohan is concerned naked Lindsay is art, not porn.

However, Lindsay Lohan's father Michael Lohan - probably best-known for regularly listing all the drugs that Lindsay Lohan is hooked on - doesn't care if it's art or porn - he just doesn't want to look at the naked Lindsay Lohan photoshoot in case it gives him a funny feeling in his stomach. Or something. Stuff reports:

Michael Lohan is determined not to see the pictures of 21-year-old Lindsay in the new issue of New York magazine, but accepts it was "her decision" to agree to the shoot. He said: "I'm not going to look at the photos - that's my daughter! But Lindsay is an adult, and she knows the direction she wants to take her career. It's her decision." However, Michael did recognise that being asked to recreate Bert Stern's famous 'Last Sitting' photos of Marilyn was a huge honour for Lindsay… "The fact that the photographer Bert Stern who did Marilyn Monroe's pictures would ask Lindsay to re-create them - that's an amazing thing."

To some degree, Michael Lohan does have a point - as much of an honour as it is for Bert Stern to ask his daughter to recreate such iconic photographs, the naked Lindsay Lohan spread does represent the point in Lindsay's career where she's become so desperate to claw back some of her early success that she's prepared to debase herself in public in such an ultimately tragic way.

Plus Michael Lohan is probably just bummed that Scarlett Johansson didn't do the naked photoshoot. Her tits are way nicer.

Europe Falls in Love with E-Dating

On Feb. 13, thousands of young people will pour onto the streets of Paris, Milan, and Barcelona. But they won't be protesting -- they'll be looking for love. The Valentine's Eve street parties, dubbed "St. Single's Day," are sponsored by Paris-based Meetic.com, Europe's leading Web matchmaker. The festivities will include DJs and speed-dating stands, where singles have only a few minutes to chat up a potential partner.
Yes, now even Latin lovers need help playing the seduction game. Online dating, virtually unknown on the Continent five years ago, is taking off in a big way, even as the phenomenon seems to be slowing on the other side of the Atlantic.

SPREADING CONNECTIONS. Revenues of the leading European dating Web sites will more than double over the next five years, from $200 million to $450 million, predicts Paris-based analyst Olivier Beauvillain of consultancy Jupiter Research. While sales in the U.S. are still higher than in Europe, they're expected to grow only 9% this year, to $515 million. "The European market is the most exciting right now," Beauvillain says.

The region's biggest online dating service is Meetic.com, a private company launched three years ago by Web entrepreneur Marc Simoncini. The site is set to hit 10 million members around St. Single's Day and will book around $55 million in sales this year. In France, a country inextricably linked with romance, one adult in 15 is a Meetic member. In Italy and Spain, it's one in fewer than 50.

In these and Meetic's eight other country sites -- Austria, Belgium, Denmark, Germany, the Netherlands, Sweden, Switzerland, and Britain -- membership is soaring by as much as 20,000 a day. Over the next six months, four more country sites will be added -- Poland, Portugal, Greece, and Ireland.

Dating Study online : Women Are Choosier Than Men

Science is confirming what most women know: When given the choice for a mate, men go for good looks.

And guys won't be surprised to learn that women are much choosier about partners than they are.

"Just because people say they're looking for a particular set of characteristics in a mate, someone like themselves, doesn't mean that is what they'll end up choosing," Peter M. Todd, of the cognitive science program at Indiana University, Bloomington, said in a telephone interview.

Researchers led by Todd report in Tuesday's edition of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences that their study found humans were similar to most other mammals, "following Darwin's principle of choosy females and competitive males, even if humans say something different."

Their study involved 26 men and 20 women in Munich, Germany.

Participants ranged in age from 26 to their early 40s and took part in "speed dating," short meetings of three to seven minutes in which people chat, then move on to meet another dater. Afterward, participants check off the people they'd like to meet again, and dates can be arranged between pairs who select one another.

Speed dating let researchers look at a lot of mate choices in a short time, Todd said.

In the study, participants were asked before the session to fill out a questionnaire about what they were looking for in a mate, listing such categories as wealth and status, family commitment, physical appearance, healthiness and attractiveness.

After the session, the researchers compared what the participants said they were looking for with the people they actually chose to ask for another date.

Men's choices did not reflect their stated preferences, the researchers concluded. Instead, men appeared to base their decisions mostly on the women's physical attractiveness.

The men also appeared to be much less choosy. Men tended to select nearly every woman above a certain minimum attractiveness threshold, Todd said.

Women's actual choices, like men's, did not reflect their stated preferences, but they made more discriminating choices, the researchers found.

The scientists said women were aware of the importance of their own attractiveness to men, and adjusted their expectations to select the more desirable guys.

"Women made offers to men who had overall qualities that were on a par with the women's self-rated attractiveness. They didn't greatly overshoot their attractiveness," Todd said, "because part of the goal for women is to choose men who would stay with them"

But, he added, "they didn't go lower. They knew what they could get and aimed for that level."

So, it turns out, the women's attractiveness influenced the choices of the men and the women.

Online dating: The economics of love

As Valentine's Day arrives, the online dating business is in the midst of an extreme makeover.

About 16 percent of all US Internet users -- or roughly 33 million people -- visited a dating site in 2006, according to JupiterResearch, and Americans spent $650 million last year on digital hookups.

But only about 5 percent of US Internet users purchase paid subscriptions to online dating services, and that percentage has hardly budged for several years, forcing industry leaders and tiny start-ups alike to try new gimmicks to coax more revenue out of existing customers and attract new ones.

EHarmony.com of Pasadena, Calif., is fighting back with science.

Founded by psychologist and marriage counselor Neil Clark Warren, the company is best known for its high prices -- $60 a month -- and its questionnaire. Members must answer more than 400 questions; the answers help eHarmony select the most likely candidates for romance
EHarmony is perhaps the most marriage-focused dating site. Waldorf proudly cites a Harris Interactive survey that found that 33,000 eHarmony members married each other in 2005 -- over 90 marriages a day.

Last February, the company launched eHarmony Marriage, a guidance service for people who've already found a mate but need help making the marriage last. For $49.95, couples get a questionnaire that helps identify problems in their marriage. For a monthly $49.95 subscription, they can access online video exercises that teach relationship repair techniques.

Match.com of Dallas, a business unit of IAC/InterActive Corp., is also making some moves. Prices at match.com, the leading dating site with about 15 million members worldwide, range up to about $30 per month. Last year, the company hooked up with popular TV psychologist Dr. Phil McGraw.

Subscribers who pay about $9 a month extra can receive video and audio messages from Dr. Phil, as well as specialized dating advice.

"If there's any remaining social stigma to this category, dating online, we wanted to put an end to it once and for all," said Jim Safka, chief executive of Match.com. "Dr. Phil -- it doesn't get more mainstream America than that."

Match has also copied eHarmony's questionnaire-based matching system in a service called Chemistry, developed with the help of a cultural anthropologist. As with eHarmony, Chemistry subscribers are only introduced to people whose test results indicate they're a good match. Match has hired Jay Manuel, one of the stars of the TV series "America's Next Top Model," to help members attract more suitors. Manuel suggests that members post appealing photographs with good lighting and creative camera angles and upgrade their personal profiles with short, revealing anecdotes