Psychological surveys show that most men seeking a mate want a beautiful woman or girl with a narrow waist and that most women looking for a man say they want one with a fat wallet.
Evolutionists say this arrangement makes good reproductive sense. Men see beauty as a sign of good health and a favourable waist-to-hip ratio points to a good child-bearer who would pass on her healthy genes. A woman looking to have children wants a good provider for them.
But nothing is simple, as social scientists Eli Finkel and Paul Eastwick found in their recent experiments.
The pair organised 163 students from an Illinois university to try speed dating. Before the experiment, each student was photographed, graded according to their earning potential and simpatico, and each described their ideal partner. As expected, most of the men wanted a beautiful, narrow-waisted partner and most women looked for a well-heeled guy.
In speed dating a couple talk about themselves and question each other for four minutes and then decide if they want to further the relationship. After four minutes, the pair try a new partner. Some of the students talked to a dozen or more people a night.
In a short break between dates, the students were asked to rate the person they just met. Then, at home, they filled out an online form saying who, if anybody, they fancied.
The two psychologists watched hundreds of videos of the speed dates and, over the following month or so, checked on the students' impressions and any interactions between them. The team monitored dates, feelings, anxieties and sexual encounters, allowing them to check on relationships as they bloomed or wilted.
Drs Finkel and Eastwick were surprised to find how few of the students acted on their stated preferences. Few pursued people they would consider their ideal, or at least not the types of people they say they were most attracted to.
Quirks and adventure counted far more than they should have.
The psychologists suggest that either long-term wants do not appear to govern our short-term passions or, they ask, do people even know what they really want?
Critics say speed dating is a ridiculously unnatural game and quite unlike real life. But, in earlier research, psychologists were amazed at how quickly people made judgements and ranked strangers.
Apparently men and women can rate the attractiveness of the opposite sex on a scale of one to 10 in little more than a nanosecond. This instantaneous knack extends across the races.
Apparently an Oriental's ranking of a European or African of the opposite sex coincides with that of a European or an African's ranking, and vice versa, with frightening accuracy. The psychologists call it "thin-slicing". It's what half the population of Wellington does as it cruises Lambton Quay at lunchtime.
Drs Finkel and Eastwick are continuing their studies, using larger sample sizes and looking at really long-term outcomes. In an ideal world all men would marry beautiful women and all women marry wealthy men. Unfortunately . . .
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